- Learn how to deal with sexual stigma by educating yourself and others.
- Embrace inclusivity to challenge yourself and become more sex positive.
- Foster open communication with your partner to overcome your feelings about sex toys and embarrassment.
Using and enjoying sex toys is generally a private and personal thing. Thanks to more and more sex-positive movements taking place these days, the sexual stigma surrounding unique adult toys is lessening. While the practice of enjoying body safe sex toys is widely accepted these days, there are still people who struggle with embarrassment related to sex toys. Even the most mature, secure adults might find themselves caught off guard when it comes to discussing the use of a blowjob toy or anal vibrators.
In the past, one would have to travel to a sex shop to peruse their wares; thankfully, it’s easier than ever today to buy adult sex toys online. But even with discreet purchases, many people still can’t quite conquer their own sexual stigmas and let go of the idea of being judged by others or uncomfortable in their own skin. While, in the past, people’s fears surrounding sex may have been founded, today there’s no reason to avoid sex toys and let embarrassment keep you from enjoying yourself. Read on to see how you can combat your own internalized sexual stigma or encourage others to have a more sex-positive take when it comes to quality sex toys.
Educate Yourself and Others
Sex is all part of the human condition, but because of cultural and religious teachings, self-pleasure and adult toys are often met with sexual stigma. In the past, sexual exploration, particularly for women, was frowned upon and even demonized. Even though historically misogynistic ideas shunned the ideas of women’s sexuality and pleasure, female sex toys are more popular than ever. We now understand that sexual stigma and taboos surrounding pleasure were designed to instill shame as a means of controlling populations. The bottom line is that masturbation, sex, and achieving orgasm are good for your physical, mental, and emotional health. In fact, some body safe sex toys are a much-needed aid for disabled individuals or those who have difficulty reaching orgasm, and should not be met with shame.
High-quality sex toys can do wonders for those who want to expand their horizons, but dealing with the sexual stigma associated with his and hers adult toys can be difficult. To deal with sex toys and embarrassment, read up on the history of self-pleasure and sexual exploration. It may be useful to know that humans of all backgrounds and sexual preferences have been using sex toys since the dawn of time. It isn’t shameful to want to explore and try new things, but only you can work through the sexual stigma that has been passed down to you by society and your peers.
Embrace Inclusivity
Often, the sexual stigma of sex toys and embarrassment comes from having a limited worldview. Practicing and embracing inclusivity can help people become more secure in themselves and help them to lead more enriched and authentic lives. In the past, women and men have been conditioned to think that masturbation or using adult toys for women or men’s sex toys was shameful or simply embarrassing. However, we now know that the sexual stigma around unique sex toys is misguided, and in fact, can be useful for disabled folks or those seeking help with sexual dysfunction.
Understanding the role of his and hers adult toys in the queer community can also help in terms of inclusivity. Toys like dildos, anal toys for men, and silicone masturbators can help those who may be interested in exploring their sexuality in a safe and accessible way. The sexual stigma surrounding many of the most popular toys often stems from a history of bigotry, contributing to the feelings of embarrassment surrounding sex toys.
Foster Open Communication
In new and seasoned couples alike, the topic of sex toys and embarrassment may arise for those eager to try something new. While one partner might be eager to introduce a new toy into the bedroom, like a cock ring or clit vibrator, the other partner might not be as receptive. Some partners may be dealing with insecurity, sexual trauma, or simply be conditioned to believe sexual stigma around enjoying unique adult toys.
While it’s true that adult toys for couples can help spice things up or deepen a relationship, if your partner is resistant, the experience can leave you with a negative connotation. When you foster open communication with your partner, it’s easier to understand their feelings about sex toys and address any embarrassment they may have. During discussions about adult toys for couples, you may uncover any sexual stigma your partner might have, and can then work through those feelings and ideas together.
For some couples and individuals, the sexual stigma surrounding sex toys and the resulting embarrassment may be a difficult hurdle to jump. However, online sex shops make it easier than ever to discreetly discover and try out new toys in private or with a partner. Be sure to discuss using a sex toy with your partner in the bedroom beforehand to avoid any miscommunication or feelings of unease, and always keep lines of communication open. Just because you may feel held back by sexual stigma doesn’t mean you can’t rewire your thinking and explore new options. Try an affordable sex toy and see if you can challenge your preconceived notions and make sex toys and embarrassment a thing of the past.
